The Darkest
by The-ImpossibleMind
Summary: Dolithiel is no ordinary Ranger. She is an elf and bonded to Legolas Greenleaf Prince of Mirkwood. Follow her story as she travels with the Fellowship and tries to contol her Powers as well as her heart. (Under Slight Construction, formerly known as Vairar en Kalina)
1. Prologue

Dolithiel - pronounced Do-lith-ie-l  
Elvish will be in_ Italics._

The forest was completely quiet. No rabbits or squirrels trampled through the fallen leaves. There was just stillness, just silence that was soon broken by the voice of a concerned ellyth.

"Legolas? Legolas?"

A young elf called out with worry in her voice, "Legolas, we shouldn't be out this far! We are too close to the spider nests. We have to head back. Legolas, where are you?" Her heart was pounding with fear for her friend.

A dark shape dropped out of the branches above the elf. A scream and bell-like laughter was heard, echoing throughout the trees.

"Relax, Lithie. You're safe with me."

Lithie punched him in the stomach, "That was a nasty trick to play Legol-"

A hissing sound interrupted her. Soon after, the large hairy bodies of spiders dropped on to the ground around of them. Reaching for his twin daggers, Legolas went to hand the other elf one of his blades when he realized she already had her daggers out. Back to back, they faced off against the invaders. A shaggy limb darted out at the elves, Legolas leap to the side. The hairy appendix crashed into the ground in time for Lithie to cut it off, giver her just enough time to dispatch the spider and one of its companions.

"Nice move there, Dolithiel, but it could use some work." She turned around to see Legolas kill the last of the spiders or so they thought. Right as Dolithiel went to retrieve her dagger from the body of a spider, another dropped from the trees. Weaponless with a spider bearing down upon her, she closed her eyes and held her hands up out of instinct. A piercing screech and the smell of something burning filled the air causing her to open her eyes. Lithie's mouth fell open in shock at the sight that laid before her, a spider burning and Legolas, who was watching her with a wary expression on his face.

"Did you-?" whispered Legolas.

"Did I-?" Dolithiel echoed with a shaky, quiet voice. Her knees felt like jelly as she gasped for air.

"You're one of them, the Heru en Kala," Legolas pulled the trembling ellyth in to his arms. "Lithie, I won't tell anyone, I swear. I won't let anyone harm you but do you know how much danger you are in? If my father found out-"

"He would kill me. I'm one of the monsters parents tell their children about at night. You should let them kill me. You should kill me. You surely don't wish to be bonded with something like me." Dolithiel broke down in tears.

Legolas' jaw clenched, "I love you and I will never lay a hand on you, Dolithiel. You are not evil now nor will you ever be. No one has to know."

Several minutes later, three scouts came running through the trees, "My Prince, there were reports of a nest out he-" He took a look at the corpses around the clearing, his eyes widening with shock.

Legolas leveled the scout with a look, "I believe it is time for us to return to the castle."

*2 week later*  
The days were long and the nights were even longer. Legolas had not heard from Dolithiel in over a week. So, he finally went to see his father.

"Ada? Where is Dolithiel? I have not seen her in two week."

Thranduil's face darkened with grief for he has to tell his son the news, "They are gone my green leaf."

Legolas replied looking confused, "What? What do you mean gone?"  
Thranduil's face grew even darker, "They are all dead Legolas, her village is in ruins and there are Urk-Hai marks everywhere. Everyone who lived in or around that village is-"

Legolas cut him off, "No. No, I don't- I don't believe you." Legolas stared up at him with tears streaming down his face. He visibly broke, "NO! You lie, she is not dead, she cannot be dead! I would have felt it! I would have felt it if she was killed!" He shook his head in denial. "I would know," he whispered. "I WOULD KNOW."  
The king reached out to his son, holding him close, "You could not have known."  
Legolas whispered softly, "_Father, she is my bonded. I should know._"  
Thranduil looked at him with surprise, "_What? Why have you kept this from me_?"

Legolas replied, "We are but 2500, no one would take us seriously and until I have proof I will never believe she is dead." Legolas ran from the throne room out into the forest and to his friend's home or what was left of it.  
Thranduil shook his head and told his guard to follow him, "Make sure he does not hurt himself."  
When Legolas gets to the ruins he starts walking around shouting his friend name, "Lithie!? Lithie? Please Valar don't let her be taken from me, I beg of you!"  
When he finally approached what was left of his friend's home, he spotted something on the ground. When he picked it up he found it to be the circlet he got her for her 500th birthday. He fell to his knees and started to cry. He had finally came to the realization that she was gone.

He cried out in anguish, "No No No. NO! She can't be gone. LITHIE, DOLITHIEL, PLEASE!" The guard caught him before he hit the ground.

"Please come back to me."

*Meanwhile*  
Dolithiel was floating in a cloud of her subconscious, not fully awake but not totally unconscious. Urk-hai had burnt down her home and murdered her parents, murdered her friends and her neighbors. She was alone. When she came to for a moment, she saw their destination. The next time she would awaken, she would be thrust at the feet of the Necromancer, deep in the heart of Dol Guldur. With the Necromancer's words swimming through her mind, she could only comprehend two things. The first being that there is no chance of escape for her. The second was that she would be given a choice, be a willing subject of the Dark Lord or being beaten in to submission. She had before her an ordeal of the most horrid kind.

She chose to be beaten, to fight before being submissive to the obviously more powerful figure. Death before defeat, but defeated she was. After many long weeks of torture and agony on both her physical body and her mind, she finally yielded. She broke, as everyone does, either with death or with submission.

Dolithiel was then trained to be a deadly assassin. Capable of devastating effects, she was put through fifty years of training. Her teacher was a man that went be the name of Kane. Though he was caring towards her in private, he was ruthless with her in training. His motto was, 'show no mercy when sparing for you will receive none in battle'. But the first lesson she learned and by far the most important was that you should never let your true emotions show, the reason being that the enemy would surely use them against you.


	2. The Prancing Pony

*47 years later*  
I sat in the Prancing Pony, waiting for Aragorn to get to Bree. I picked at the hem of my dark red tunic. My hood drawn up as to not attract attention to my elvish origin. He said he would be here by now. It was only after I had gotten an apple from Barliman, he finally appeared. "_You're late_," I grumbled to him. He laughed and replied, "10 months you have not seen me and that is how you say hello?"  
I could not help but crack a smile at that, Aragorn has always had that power over me. For a while we talked and told each other how our adventures have been while we were apart and then I felt something evil fill the air.

"_It's here, the ring_"  
Aragorn's eyebrows rose up in surprise when I flicked my eyes towards the hobbits that had just come through the door. "One of them is the ring bearer," I released the breath I did not know I was holding.

Awhile after they all sat down the slightly pudgy one pointed us out to the one with startling blue eyes, I almost gasped with surprise. It was Frodo. Pointing his finger at us he said, "They have been watching us ever since we have arrived" Frodo called over Barliman and with a startled look on his face asked, "Who are they?" He asked.  
Barliman took one look at us then paled, "They are them rangers, very dangerous folk, one of them male called Strider, the other female called Fallon, there is rumor that the female is an elf, banished from her home for murder."  
I giggled at the description then sobered at my next thoughts_, "Murder there might have been at my home but I was not the being who did the killing merely the cause_." The hobbit's eyes widened with fright. I turned away for a moment to ask Aragorn something when I heard a yelp. I quickly turned as the blue eyed one slipped in ale and then fell. The next thing I knew the hobbit was gone. Strider and I were up in a flash. We grabbed him from under the table and dragged him up to our room. I dropped him on the floor and stared in to his eyes.

"You draw far too much attention to yourself Mr. 'Underhill'"  
He gasped, "What do you want with me, I am but a hobbit?"  
"More caution from you is what we want, that is no mere trinket you carry," replied Strider. "I carry nothing," Frodo said in return.  
"Indeed Mr. Frodo Baggins," I spoke softly. "You know my name?" I ignored him and then asked, "Are you frightened?"  
He nodded, I uttered, "Not nearly frightened enough."  
Then the door burst open. We whirled around, Strider with his sword drawn and I with my twin daggers.  
"Let him go or I'll have you, Longshanks!" Shouted the pudgy one from earlier. I put my daggers away and closed the door after they were in the room. "You have a stout heart Master Hobbit but even that will not save you," said Aragorn.  
Frodo introduced us to his friends, one at a time, "Here is Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregin Took, my companions since we left The Shire."  
I shushed them as I heard a piercing cry in the distance, "We must hurry they are coming."

After we made the pillows in the hobbit's room look like they were sleeping we hurried back to our room. The hobbits climbed onto the bed, took a deep breath and then started asking questions.  
Merry, in his quizzical voice, asked, "Who are you?"  
Pipin's question was, "What are you?"  
Frodo, ever the practical one, asked, "Why are you here and how did you know my name?"  
Finally, Sam asked the question that was on everybody's mind, "What do you want with Frodo but most importantly do you mean us any harm?"

I took off my hood for the first time that night, earning a gasp for my hair, its snow white. I snickered and then replied, "I am Dolithiel and I am not some fugitive like you believe. The rangers would not let me travel with them if I was." Frodo looked away at that comment then shot his eyes back up to meet mine. "Now I understand why you know my name. Bilbo made a passing mention of an elf friend who would visit when I was little. You must have been her." Nodding I responded, "Yes, I knew Bilbo from when he went on his adventure."  
I dropped the subject and then pointed to Aragorn and said, "He is one whose true identity must remain unknown for the time being, though you may call my companion, Strider. I am an elf he is a ranger. We are here to take you to the safety of Rivendell, so therefore we do not mean you harm." I finished with a deep breath then asked, "Does that leave you satisfied for now?"  
I got a chorus of yes's in return.  
"Now get to bed we have a long day of walking tomorrow." I smiled at the groans I got from saying that.

When they all got to sleep Aragorn smiled softly at me, "You handled them like you do the village children. You would have made a great mother."  
As we approached the subject of marriage and children, I knew it was time to tell him the truth. I took a breath, "Aragorn, there is something I have been meaning to tell you."  
"What is it Lithie," he asked me worriedly.  
"There is a reason I've asked you not to talk about me with Legolas." He looked confused so I explained further.

"First of all, he doesn't know that I'm alive," I mumbled. Aragorn gave me a scathing look then motioned for me to continue.  
"It is very rare but when some elves are born, they have a tattoo at the base of their spine, these elves are called the Vairar en' Kalina or Weavers of Light. It gives them powers over the elements. I'm one of those elves."

"Yes, yes. I know all of this."

"You keep interrupting me. Please stop," I closed my eyes in exasperation. "What you don't know, Aragorn, is that these elves can be Bound to other."

"So can other elves," He quickly pointed out.

"Yes, but the Vairar en' Kalina can lend their Bonded energy and their powers if they wish. The point I am getting at is that I once was Bonded. I was Bonded to Legolas."

"Bonded?" he whispered, surprise shone clear on his face.  
I huge breath and started my story.  
"A year before the Urks took me and killed my family, Legolas started to court me and as soon as he made the announcement, my Mark started burning and he gained a Mark on his wrist that night. From that moment on we were officially bonded, though we kept it secret from everyone."  
"What! Why have you not gone back?!" whisper shouted Aragorn  
"Because I was scared…" I stated, keeping my face as blank as possible.  
"Scared of what, Lithie?"  
"I don't know, Aragorn, I was scared of myself, scared of the power coursing through my body that I could not control. I just... I don't know."  
"Lithie…"  
"Leave it be Aragorn it's not a conversation I want to get in to right now."  
He let it go but I could tell it was still on his mind. I may have gotten some rest that night but it was not peaceful for me.


	3. Weathertop

*The Next Morning on the Road*  
I was scouting ahead when I heard Aragorn stop, he clearly has not heard of the hobbits appetite for he rolled his eyes at the mention of 'second breakfast'. He walked ahead but still tossed them 2 apples. I hung back for a bit and whispered, "Softy" to him as he walked by. He scowled at me and walked quicker than normal.  
We reached Weathertop by nightfall. When we arrived the top the Hobbits fell down with exhaustion panting but with just enough breath to eat. Aragorn said that he was going to scout the area and told me, "Lithie, stay with the Hobbits make sure they…don't get killed." I replied, "Will do."  
We sat in silence until I started to sing out of boredom.  
Fanuilos heryn aglar  
Rîn athar annún-aearath,  
Calad ammen i reniar  
Mi 'aladhremmin ennorath!  
A Elbereth Gilthoniel  
I chîn a thûl lin míriel  
Fanuilos le linnathon  
Ne ndor haer thar i aearon.  
A elin na gaim eglerib  
Ned în ben-anor trerennin  
Si silivrin ne pherth 'waewib  
Cenim lyth thílyn thuiennin.  
A Elbereth Gilthoniel  
Men echenim sí derthiel  
Ne chaered hen nu 'aladhath

When I finished and opened my eyes the hobbits were silent staring at me with wide eyes.  
Pippin was the only one to talk "That was beautiful Lady Dolithiel."  
"Call me Lithie" I whispered as I floated in to a waking dream.

I awoke to the crackling of fire as well as Frodo's shouts of, "Put it out!"  
I shouted "What have you done!?"  
The cold was closing in and I could feel the evil of the Nazgul arrive.  
We backed up against each other as the wraiths surrounded us. I whispered, "Do what I say and we will make it out alive. Understand?"  
They all agreed. "When I say go, you will run and not look back. Find Strider and tell him to create light, he will understand."  
"Ready? GO!" They ran as I twisted and leaped, dodging the Morgul blades of the wraiths. I heard a crash and turned.  
It was Frodo, he had slipped and fallen backwards. "No! Frodo! I told you to run!"  
I was fighting a battle with myself now. I could **should** use my power over the elements to save Frodo but at the same time I don't want to risk it. My powers were unreliable and could abandon me in times of great peril. What if I hurt Frodo in the act of trying to save him? I screamed with frustration! As I did that my blades as well as my hands caught fire. I guess it's not my choice after all.  
I took advantage of the situation. I sliced and weaved as fast as I could. The high pitched screams of the Nazgul were breaking my concentration. I flinched and in that moment, I was cut across my back from my left shoulder to my right hip.  
My scream was soon joined by Frodo's as I watch a Ringwraith stab the shimmering air where I knew he was.  
"No! Frodo!" I shouted wreathing on the ground in pain. Thank the Valar Aragorn was there not a minute later. He chased the Nazgul off the edge with his torch and sword. Once he was done he went over to Frodo, he picked him up and said, "We must get him to Elrond," his voice trailed off as he saw the state I was in. I was struggling to get up and when I finally did it sent fire through my veins.  
"Lithie! Are you able to walk?" he asked. I laughed but even that hurt, "No but let me get to the forest and I will be fine, I can call Airborne."  
When we got to the forest, Aragorn and Sam went out in search of the Athelas and I called to my ever faithful horse. She came running in, I jumped onto her back and when Aragorn had put the weed on his wound, I had him give Frodo to me.  
"Ride hard, Lithie, don't look back."

Airborne galloped as fast as she could, weaving through the trees the wraiths chasing after us. "_Be swift my friend,_ we must get to the river" I shouted to her. I clung to her neck as the pain from my wound clouded my mind. My vision started to go black as we reached the river. "Give up the Halfling She-Elf," the rough voice of the Nazgul scratched out. I replied with all the courage I could muster, "If you want him, come and claim him!"  
My eyes widened as they started to cross the river. I gathered all the power I had and spoke, "Nin o chithaeglir lasto beth daer; rimmo nin Bruinen dan in ulaer!" The river answered my call and swelled to carry the wraiths away.  
I fell from my horse in exhaustion, using my power twice in one night was enough to knock me out for a couple nights but mixed with my wound I might not wake up for a week. Frodo fell next to me. My white hair pooled around me in the water and blood seeped from my wound, swirling around me, dying my hair a dull red. I heard a voice I recognized, Elrond. I closed my eyes as I heard him say "Sleep, when you awake all will be well."

*Days later*  
I awoke in a bright room to voices whispering in my ear, "When will she awake? Will she be alright?" I heard Elrond chuckle at that, "You doubt my healing skills?"

The other voice stuttered, "O-of course not, I'm just worried about my friend, it has been 17 days."  
I smiled, opened my eyes and saw Pippin sitting in the chair next to the bed, "It's nice to know that someone is." _"I've been out for 17 days? Why, that is far too long for someone like me to be sitting idle," _I thought to myself. I tried to sit up but gasped in pain. "I would not suggest trying to get up just yet," cautioned Elrond.  
"Where is everyone," I asked. Elrond replied, "Getting something to eat, I had to tell Aragorn that starving himself will not make you wake quicker, by the way I do not know your name. Aragorn refused to tell me, he said that it was by your order he had to keep your identity a secret." He gave me a questioning look. I sighed, "I am sorry. I know that this is rude but my name must be kept secret for the time being but I will warn you of one thing. I am a Vairar en' Kalina. I reveal this secret not only for your safety but for the safety of you people.  
If word got out that you had a Vairar en' Kalina in your care, the armies of Mordor would be knocking on you door within a week." Elrond frowned but agreed. I looked down at my white dress. Shrugging I looked at Elrond and Pippin. "Now," I said, "You might want to close your eyes, it is going to get a little bright in here." They did without question. I summoned my powers and healed myself in a flash, literally. Elrond looked at me with eyebrows raised. "Sorry, I had to. I cannot just sit here for a few day doing nothing," I said sheepishly in response to his look. Pippin gave me an inquisitive glance, "Why didn't you do that when you were fighting or when Frodo was hurt?" He didn't sound angry, only confused. "I only have the power to heal myself, and even then it only works when I am not in mortal peril." I quickly switched the subject from my powers, "So where is Frodo?"


	4. Rivendell

*Days later*  
I awoke in a bright room to voices whispering in my ear, "When will she awake? Will she be alright?" I heard Elrond chuckle at that, "You doubt my healing skills?"

The other voice stuttered, "O-of course not, I'm just worried about my friend, it has been 17 days."  
I smiled, opened my eyes and saw Pippin sitting in the chair next to the bed, "It's nice to know that someone is." _"I've been out for 17 days? Why, that is far too long for someone like me to be sitting idle," _I thought to myself. I tried to sit up but gasped in pain. "I would not suggest trying to get up just yet," cautioned Elrond.  
"Where is everyone," I asked. Elrond replied, "Getting something to eat, I had to tell Aragorn that starving himself will not make you wake quicker, by the way I do not know your name. Aragorn refused to tell me, he said that it was by your order he had to keep your identity a secret." He gave me a questioning look. I sighed, "I am sorry. I know that this is rude but my name must be kept secret for the time being but I will warn you of one thing. I am a Vairar en' Kalina. I reveal this secret not only for your safety but for the safety of you people.  
If word got out that you had a Vairar en' Kalina in your care, the armies of Mordor would be knocking on you door within a week." Elrond frowned but agreed. I looked down at my white dress. Shrugging I looked at Elrond and Pippin. "Now," I said, "You might want to close your eyes, it is going to get a little bright in here." They did without question. I summoned my powers and healed myself in a flash, literally. Elrond looked at me with eyebrows raised. "Sorry, I had to. I cannot just sit here for a few day doing nothing," I said sheepishly in response to his look. Pippin gave me an inquisitive glance, "Why didn't you do that when you were fighting or when Frodo was hurt?" He didn't sound angry, only confused. "I only have the power to heal myself, and even then it only works when I am not in mortal peril." I quickly switched the subject from my powers, "So where is Frodo?"

The room got quiet and solemn as soon as those words left my mouth. "He has yet to awake," said Pippin with a sad look on his face.

I gave him a sad smile, "Let me get changed, I will meet you outside of the rose garden in the left wing, from there we will travel to see how Frodo fares in his fight against death." They nodded and left, but not before Elrond gave me a looks saying that he wanted more answers.  
I came out of my room not 15 minutes later wearing a green dress. I all but ran to the garden, Pippin came in with Elrond soon after I arrived.  
"Come on Pippin lets go see how he looks," I said as I took his hand. I made a quick waving motion with my hand, "Lead the way Lord Elrond."

We soon reached Frodo's room. The bright colors of the room were in contrast of the morbid feeling that it contained.

He was just lying there, sometime tossing and turning and other time gasping for breath as if a nightmare would not release it's grip on his mind. I looked at him and softly said, "This is my fault, if only I had more control over my power. I was given my gift to protect others not destroy them." I could feel a knot crawling up my throat threatening to turn into tears. I turned and walked out of the room. As soon as I left the main house, I broke into a sprint. I was blindly running not caring where I was going. When I finally stopped running, my eyes widened for this was the exact garden that Legolas first kissed me in.  
*_Flashback*  
We were playing a game of dares one afternoon when Aragorn suddenly said to me, "Lithie, I dare you to kiss Legolas." He thought for a second then continued you have until midnight to complete the dare!" I blushed and Legolas paled. Both of us glared at Aragorn as he fell over laughing at our faces.  
There was a ball to be held later that night. This ridiculous party was the reason I had to wear a dress. I hated dresses, they were unreasonably hot and it caused the men to stare at me. My dress for the night was bright red and very form fitting. It was nearing midnight and Legolas asked me to accompany him into the gardens. He smiled at me softly and took my hand. We slow danced to silent music until the minute before midnight. It was then when he leaned in and kissed me. _  
_*End of Flashback*_  
I found myself smiling at the memory through the tears. I sent a silent prayer to my mother, "I hope you are at peace now emmel and you look upon me with pride not disappointment, I love you."  
I calmed myself and walked back to the castle, drying my face as I walked. I was met at the gates by Aragorn, "I was just going to look for you, Pippin told me that you walked out of Frodo's room not a moment after you arrived."  
"Yes, well sometime my own thoughts get to me," I said as he pulled me into a hug. When I pulled back I looked up at him and said, "On a lighter subject, have you seen Arwen?" He shook his head and sighed, "Why should I be the cause of her destruction and mine for that matter, I could not ask her if she were willing to give up her immortality, no I could never do that to her." He looked at me sadly. "Enough of this morbidness," he said, "the hobbits are worried, you must see them." I nodded and he pulled me thruogh the hall to the dinning hall.  
We ate in silence, once finished Elrond looked up at me and said, "Baw essë, I hear you have a beautiful voice, will you grace us with its wonderful sound?" I blush and nod, "Of course," and so I start to sing.

We know full well there's just time  
So is it wrong to toss this line?  
If your heart was full of love  
Could you give it up?  
'Cause what about, what about angels?  
They will come, they will go, make us special  
Don't give me up  
Don't give...  
Me up  
How unfair, it's just our love  
Found something real that's out of touch  
But if you'd searched the whole wide world  
Would you dare to let it go?  
'Cause what about, what about angels?  
They will come, they will go, make us special  
Don't give me up  
Don't give...  
Me up  
'Cause what about, what about angels?  
They will come, they will go, make us special  
It's not about not about angels, angels

When I finished, Elrond took a quick look at me, "My dear would you please meet me outside?" I nod fear gripping my heart. I walked outside with him and he glanced at me again, "My dear you have nothing to fear, I will tell none of your stay here. I am not angry at your for keeping your identity a secret. I am merely surprised about how much you have changed, in mannerisms and in physical appearance. Though, I would like you to come to the council that will be held when Frodo wakes up. If you don't want to be identified during the council, I recommend that you keep your cloak on and your hood up to hide your hair." I nod and asked quietly, "He'll be there won't he?"  
Elrond gave me a sad nod, "Dolithiel, you would have to face him sooner or later." "I know," I sighed, "I just did not expect it to be so soon or in this time of great peril." He went to stand up and I asked, "Could you please send Aragon out here?" "As you wish."  
When Aragorn came outside I finally broke down in tears, sobbing into his shirt. Even though he was surprised at my sudden display of emotion, he held me there until sunrise.


	5. The Fight

I changed into my armor and raced to the training field. I got there just as the crowd was gathering. Aragorn told me that Boromir thought that I was a mortal woman. Boy, was he in for a shock. When I walked through the horde of people, the men who came with Boromir sneered and called me a fool. One man even went as far as to say that I might as well give up now before I get hurt. I rolled my eyes but kept walking. Boromir was boasting to some men about how easy this match will be. That in itself made me infuriated. He strode toward me with a smirk on his face that I wanted to slap off.  
Aragorn walked forward as well for he has to explain the rules, "No death blows, fight fair, and may the best win. Oh and Fallon, please don't kill him." "No promises," I said with an animistic snarl. He sighed and walked to the side lines. My cloak flared out when I rotated my body to face Boromir. I snarled, and then we started. Our swords met with a clash. From the expression on his face I could tell that he did not expect my blows to be that hard. Boromir was not trying his hardest so I stepped forward twirling my sword going faster and faster with each step.

"If you want to give up now, you can save yourself the embarrassment of being beat by a woman," I called to him, fully understanding that it would make him even madder. Sure enough his eyes hardened. This fight would be tough no doubt, if I was a mortal. I stood there my muscles tensing and untensing. Swish! His sword cut through the air where I was just standing. A narrow miss. "I have to stop letting my mind wander in a fight," I scolded myself. Right before I lifted my sword, a gust of wind blew into my face causing my hood to fall and reveal my hair. A gasp went through the crowd at the sight of my hair. I thought bitterly, "The reactions are always the same."

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a wisp of blonde hair as Legolas left. My anger flared. I summoned my powers and made water rush across my blade, the air to form a layer of armor around me, and fire to lick at the bottom of my hair giving me a look of power and danger. Boromir's eyes widened with fear. He stepped forward wishing to disarm me and get fight this over with. I knew from the look of determination on his face that he was going to try and hit me with a sharp swipe to the ribs. I parried his hard blow and used his own power to off balance him and it ended up making him fall flat on his back.

He reached for his sword but it was lying on the ground three feet away. All of the men were gaping at me, Aragorn was trying to hide his smile, and the field was silent. I reached out my hand out to help Boromir up but he pushed it away and growled. His pride was obviously hurt. I moved back and called to him as he turned away, "Boromir!" He looked over his shoulder and cocked his eyebrow. "You fought well. For a man that is."  
I turned and melted in to the crowd wishing to regain my strength before I saw Legolas again. If he will even talk to me.

I changed out of my armor in to a blue dress and by the time I was done, night was washing over the land. Though he never told me where he was going to be, I knew he was going to be in the rose garden, our rose garden. I walked through the gates, nervously fiddling with my hair. I had a thousand thoughts running through my head at once, 'Will_ he still love me?', 'Will he forgive me?', 'What stopped from me returning?', 'Did he search for me?', 'Is his mark still there?'._  
I reached the garden in a matter of minutes. I felt my heart skip when I saw him standing under the willow tree, looking so beautiful with the moonlight shining through the branches and reflecting off his golden hair. He knew I was there but he would not turn around. Finally, after what felt like years of silence, he said something, "Do my feelings mean nothing to you?"  
He turned around half way, his blonde hair covering his face, "I searched for you for a year, not once giving up the small hope that you were still alive. Did you know that for the first week you were gone I did not rest, I did not eat, and I couldn't do anything. I completely died inside and I never once thought that you would have willingly stayed away from me. Lithie, I almost faded. So sharp was the pain of your leaving, I almost faded." I opened my mouth to speak but I could not find any words to say. He was suddenly right in front of me, "Lithie," the hurt was clear in his eyes, "Why?"  
He reached up and brushed away a tear I did not know I let fall. I bent my neck to cover the streaks.

Tears were for the weak, _Not _warriors. Warriors didn't cry, but I couldn't help it. Legolas had almost faded. This knowledge was so painful it hurt to breathe. Legolas grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close, I felt his tears in my hair.

As soon as I started to respond he jumped away as if I had burned him. He choked back a heart wrenching sob and suddenly his sorrow turned to rage. Legolas spit his words at me with venom, "You never answered my question, Dolithiel. Why? Why did you run away? Why did you even bother to come back? No one wants you here. All you do is destroy and break and hurt. You make people want to please you and when they do you want, you suddenly want something else. It breaks people apart, loving you. You take them into your heart and then crush them. You only care for yourself. You were the most important person in my life and you ruined me. But the Valar help me, I cannot find it in me to hate you. I hate that I fell in love with you. I hate that I am still in love with you. I hate myself for holding on to those feelings. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

Tearing my gaze away from his, I turned. I could not hold back the waterfall of tears. I ran from the garden, they streamed down my face like rivers. I collapsed against a stone wall somewhere.  
I fell asleep lying against the wall clutching the necklace he gave me when we were young.


	6. Author's Note

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I've been super busy with finals and school! I forgot about this until I got a couple emails for you guys commenting on my story! (Thank you for those reviews by the way) I am currently doing edits and more stuff for this story! I promise that I will have a new chapter up soon.

I am also looking for a beta if any of you are interested? You can message me on my Tumblr (the link is in my profile)

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Much love,

Cas


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